need another drink. this is the easiest way
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
