This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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