I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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