At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize