Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
