Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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