no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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