I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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