You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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