So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
