thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
