so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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