It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
