So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
