So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
