please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
