It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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