is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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