dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
