you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize