And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
