hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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