this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
