there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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