i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
