Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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