your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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