HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
