dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
