Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
