she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
