sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
