yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
