I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
