Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
