we're blogging at a bar
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
