YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I AM VODKA MAN
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
