so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
