Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
