he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize