it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
