I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
