with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
