I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
