He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
