When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she told me i tasted like america
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
