lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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