I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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