Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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