they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
