From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There r osticjed everywhere
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
