It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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