So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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