You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
