why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize