Having a random hookup so left but love u
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
