Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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