Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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