It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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