the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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