i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize