Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i need some magic done to my vagina
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
