how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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