Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize