I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i drank out of a bidet.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
