Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
