I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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