Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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